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I've finally pulled the shades
over this
glass you slid between us.
I feel so clear and unprotected...
So nakedly ashamed and obvious.
Good morning. And
now, what do you say?
"I need someone like 'that' around."
I called you 45 times in one day.
I got wasted just to
drown out the sound.
I left you a million messages
to tell you I am in love with your smile.
If that wouldn't
get you to stop the games
and at least walk away, then why try?
But you never called, and the left side said,
"Maybe
he's just done and over it."
I gave it 'til 2 PM and then I wrote it off,
because today was a perfect day to call it
quits.
He doesn't feel the same.
He won't even call now...
Silence has never spoken louder before.
I feel like I fool when I see what I've become,
and an even bigger fool when I see
who I became this for.
I don't truly know the man I have broken myself
in front of.
I lie on the floor in front of a strangers eyes.
But what part is strangest is that I have no excuse.
Don't
ask me anymore, to fall in love with you and your lies.
But would I give it up again?... I scream that word 'Yes!'
before the question is even fully taken down.
It's all old news, me and you. No more to discuss. You can move along,
but don't look away.
"Nothing to see here but my body on the ground."
My bruises and broken bones are unoriginal
and my burning words
barely feel warm to your cold heart.
What do you come here for? My only remaining dignity is witholding
the truth.
Lying keeps me sane as I fall apart...
But I'm almost there. I can practically read the credits.
Rivers: If I Was a Fan Club President
Oh no, I don't have a crush.
Seven alarms sound;
you're really making me blush.
I walk away now.
You know I'm taken, you fool!
But I can look, if I don't
touch,
it's all cool.
It's by the book, now.
It's rad, the way you play all your songs.
I watch it all day,
and it's never too long...
It's on repeat babe.
All the wishes I've had;
to make a baby.
((it would call you it's dad.))
That's kind of scary...
But it's all in good fun.
I've got a king,
and I know that he is the one.
He makes me sing, man.
You'll always be cool to me.
But we're just friends!
That's all I want it to be.
And that's the end, now.
((But I can still hit repeat
any time that I please,
because, luckily for me,
I own your CDs!))
Down, down, down...
But wasn't "up"
more like the place to go?
There was no way
for me to know.
Swimming, sinking away.
I know I cried
and it seemed so trivial.
But part of me sank, too,
and died.
My lover thinks I'm strange.
But I know I knew you.
I never stopped to think
that the cold would
get you, too.
Never, ever again.
Next time I'll see
when the rot starts setting in.
I only held you under;
I wanted to make you free.
I sank deeper in / than you would have guessed.
I'm real down, / but oh-so-unpoetically.
Hopeless, and defenseless, / and just plain less
than the suicide royalty / you begged me to be.
Yes, it hurts me, / but do you feel
what you are?
But really, you aren't / so why wipe
up your tears?
A sad little girl with / tears that'd outdrown the sky.
I swear, I'll jump: / I'm much stronger up here...
Soon, this'll be your memory. / Soon,
I'll ((fatally)) be free.
Walk out of this story / and never make a backward glance.
Long ago I was willing; / I felt your fire, thick and thrilling.
Life, the art of dying. / In death, no second chance.
Inhuman? Still,
There's nothing to be ashamed of;
I only live
to numb the pain.
There is no right answer,
no pink pill to cure all.
Some things, I know,
simply cannot be erased.
Demoralizing me?
Just searching
in all the wrong places,
much more empty
on the outside than in.
Kiss me now,
tell me it will all be all right...
Where am I going?!
I still feel where I've been...
Understand this:
I'm building up a tolerance.
You see?
It's getting easier, somehow.
Maybe it's not;
Maybe I'm begging.
It's pulling me in.
I can't figure it out.
Excorsising myself.
Stumbling into the arms of my fear,
I'm blinded inside.
But still, I won't hide.
Broken skin may say
that I'm dead -all the way-
But if I am buried at all,
I am buried alive.
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